


Five Seconds

by gyllnhls



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Captain America Sam Wilson, Endgame Fix-It, M/M, Stucky - Freeform, stevebucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-02-04 12:40:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18604726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyllnhls/pseuds/gyllnhls
Summary: Steve has all the time in the world to make a lot of choices. Bucky has five seconds.





	Five Seconds

**Author's Note:**

> THIS FIC CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS  
> ok i wasn’t in my bag when i made this and i was sad and hurt over how endgame ended, especially for steve and bucky. so i put my own spin on the ending for the brooklyn boys.  
> enjoy x

Bucky stroked his beard and, eyeing Steve's hunched shoulders, decided to wait till after the funeral. Sam gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and caught Wanda's gaze. They nodded at each other and left Bucky to himself.

He toed at the yellowing grass and pushed his hands into his coat pockets. What would he even say? Bucky wasn't stupid. He was trained to be the new fist of Hydra, albeit unwillingly, and so he was a master at observation. But anyone could see the way Steve would take out that old compass and thumb at the picture inside. How Bucky's heart broke a little every time he saw it.

Bucky came back from the snap expecting the typical, if not more enthusiastic, welcome home from Steve—which meant gluing himself to Bucky's hip and chewing his ear off with all that's happened in apparently a span of five years. Instead, Steve offered a polite smile and a quick hug. It was bitterly disappointing. Nevertheless, Bucky clenched his jaw and moved on. The guy had just lost his two close friends, Natasha and Stark. He knew that coming back from a pile of dust wasn't going to replace them.

So here he was, watching Steve's curled back from afar, not daring to approach until it was just he and Bucky.

Minutes later, Pepper took her daughter's small hand and pulled Morgan towards their house. They were alone now, so he quietly stepped forward.

"If you wanted to be stealthy, you could'a stared at something other than the back of my head," Steve quipped as Bucky settled next to him.

"And I thought I was just giving you space."

His blonde companion sighed instead of laughing.

Bucky shifted. "What's going on, Steve?"

"What do you mean?" He turned.

"I mean," Bucky gestured with his flesh hand. "You're different. I get that your pals just died, trust me, I know. I'm real sorry about it, too. They were good people. Hell, it’s hard to find people like that in the world still. And I know you’re gonna return the infinity stones and your buddy’s hammer. But this thing going on with Carter—what's that about?"

He felt Steve's body tense next to him and automatically knocked his shoulder into his pal's.

Steve swallowed. "I just—when we were fetching the stones, Tony and me went through the seventies. And I  _saw_ her. Through a window. She was there and she was sorta young and happy and it made me think of how she was in the forties. How we never got to dance together. How I never got to dance with anyone.”

Bucky felt sick to his core. _I’m_ _right_ _here_ , _Stevie_ , he almost said.  _Just_ _take_   _my hand and I’ll twirl you round and round till you see stars and you’ll feel like you’re flying._ But he didn’t say it.

Instead he nodded and shoved his hands further into his pockets. Fumbled with the grass again. Listened like a best friend was supposed to as Steve blabbed on about Pegs this, dancing that.

Steve nudged Bucky with his foot, earning his calculating stare.

”I miss them too, y’know," Bucky finally said.

Steve tilted his head and Bucky pursed his lips. “My ghosts. Everyone has their own. My parents. The Commandos. My sister, Becca—you know I haven’t said her name since they took a spoon and mixed my brain up good?—Jesus, I even miss Brooklyn. I miss _our_ Brooklyn.”

Steve pressed his shoulder against Bucky’s in reassurance.

”What else you thinkin’ about, Buck?”

Bucky shrugged. “Nothin’. We should get you to that thingy-ma-jig. Put back those jewels.”

His brain was in knots and his heart was in his throat but Bucky bit his tongue.

Steve kept looking at him. Again, Bucky wasn’t stupid. He knew what Steve was thinking; he didn’t have to say it. Steve’s palms were sweating and his eyebrow got all twitchy. The serum couldn’t fix stuff like that—tell-tale signs that the blonde was up to something.

Bucky solemnly made his way next to Sam, who didn’t suspect a thing. He adored Steve and looked up to him. Bucky couldn't break his heart like that with the truth.

Bruce Banner gingerly pressed down on the controls with his giant hands and the contraption opened up like a greedy mouth, ready to snatch Steve and eat him whole.

”How long is this gonna take?” Sam asked.

Bruce pushed his glasses up his nose. “For him, as long as he needs. For us? Five seconds.”

Steve made his rounds, talking quietly to Sam. _Five_ _seconds, Bucky’s ass._  He gave the two room to talk though and watched what Banner called “the tunnel” pulse. He wished things were different, but they weren’t.

”Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

He didn’t realize Steve was right in front of him and staring with those watery, blue eyes. Steve remembered, he _remembered_.

Flashes pulsed through his piece-of-crap brain: the smell of buttered popcorn. Fireworks. A crooked hat and smile. Small shoulders with bruised knuckles. It left him dizzy.

Bucky’s heart was hammering and tears sprung in his eyes and he answered immediately, “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” There was no exchange of wistful, teenage smiles this time.

It wasn’t fair. He pulled Steve close to him and held him there. He wanted to kiss him, badly, but instead he settled his head in the crook of Steve’s neck as Steve raked his fingers through Bucky’s hair. It still wasn’t fair.

They pulled away together.

"I'm gonna miss you, buddy,” Bucky said and he felt the water in his voice and almost crashed down like a wave right at Steve’s feet.

Steve's hand twitched at his side. "It's gonna be okay, Buck." _You’re_ _a_ _hideous_ _liar,_ _Rogers_.

He entered the mouth of the hungry tunnel and five achingly long seconds passed. Sam and Banner panicked, believing something was wrong with the portal. Bucky knew better and chewed at his cheek.

Something in his core pulled longingly, so he made his way over to the lake and sat down on the bench. His metal hand clawed at the concrete surface and he broke down in quiet sobs. 

There was a small tap on his shoulder, and Bucky sniffed disdainfully at the idea of rain. The tapping continued and, confused, he turned in annoyance.

He was met with watery, blue eyes belonging to a small face.

 _It’s_ _gonna_ _be_ _okay_ , _Buck_.

Bucky placed his shaking flesh hand on a sharp cheekbone and whispered, “I thought you were taller.”

Steve Rogers smiled. “I decided not to join the army.”

He cautiously put his hand on the back of Steve’s neck and gaped at the sight.

Steve murmured, “I was torn, at first, seeing her through that window. At what could’ve been. But she moved on and had her own life, got married. She really did seem happy. Pegs told me once that I needed to live my own life and move forwards. Having you back was the push I needed. _You_ were my could’ve been. I was just too blind to see it. I don’t need to be Captain America anymore, and I certainly don’t need the serum. I have you. You’re all I'm ever gonna need.”

Bucky threw his arms around his little Steve and carefully held him. The last thing he wanted to do was love him too much that he'd shatter.

"But how, Steve? Jesus Christ you made me bawl like a goddamn _dame_." He smoothed Steve's hair back from his forehead. He was  _real_.

Steve beamed, his laughter like bells, "I told you we'd be okay and I meant it. Found the doc and asked him to help me reverse it. Turns out the juice gave me a little goodbye present and took my asthma and twisted spine and everything else with it. I feel  _good._ Fantastic, even. Just smaller. More _me_.”

The corners of Bucky's mouth lifted and he took Steve's bony fingers in his flesh hand, sighing in the warmth of it.

Something was bugging him, as if this was too good to be true. "What about the shield?"

Steve frowned. "I was thinking, at first, if you'd want to take it on," Bucky's stomach dropped and he saw more flashes. He wanted to push Steve away and scream— _beg_ him not to make him fight anymore but this was Steve. Bucky would take that shield and defend him till his last breath if he wanted him to. Unwavering loyalty would be Bucky's demise.

Steve interrupted his thoughts, "But I _know_ you, Bucky. Better than I know myself. You're tired too. The last thing I wanna do is drain you for the sake of the stars-n-stripes."

He nodded at Sam who was clutching the shield with bewildered yet honored eyes. "He's got a mouth on him, like _you_ ,” he poked at Bucky’s ribs, “but he's a good man. The world needs a guy like Sam as their protector." They watched the new Captain drift inside with Bruce, still holding the shield to his chest like a teddy bear.

Bucky nodded, smiling to himself. "He's gonna rub this in my face for the next few weeks, you know that?"

"And I'm sure you'll be just  _shaking_ with envy."

Bucky pursed his lips. “You can rest now,” he echoed the last words Stark ever heard.

“ _We_ can rest now,” Steve tucked Bucky’s hair behind his ear.

Bucky grinned and pulled Steve towards the lake.

"Bucky, what are you doing?" Steve was laughing between breaths.

"You said you never got to dance," Bucky looped his arm around Steve's waist. "Well here I am, partner.”

He put his hand behind Bucky's metal shoulder. "There's no music, though."

"Guess we'll just have to make our own, huh?" He squeezed Steve's soft hand with his calloused flesh one, and they waltzed around the lake.

Their hearts were pressed flush against each other's and Bucky was tempted to croon out an old song. Something in him wanted to drawl _It’s Been a Long, Long Time_ out of an ironic and mean, old spite. He instead kept his lips pressed softly against Steve’s cheek and thumbed at his knuckles. 

They swayed to music only they could hear and let themselves melt into the sand and into each other.


End file.
